In the past few days, I have witnessed two opposite types of friendship.
I witnessed the friend who would not sacrifice a pesewa without recouping. The type of friend who would gladly ask you to give them your most precious asset, your time, but will not let go of anything for you. The type of friend who would ask you to carry loads of things without offering to help you even though the load belongs to them. The type of friend who will continuously take without ever giving or asking where it came from. The type of friend that thinks one is oblige to serve them all the time, no matter what the other person is going through. In short, the friend that is stingy to the core.
And then, I witnessed the type of friendship that melts the heart. The type of friend that gives without asking for any explanation. The one that offers a shoulder and help without you having to ask. The type of friend who will help you meet a deadline. That person who feels your pains and is happy over your joy. The type of friend that willingly gives you what others spend years to contemplate on. The type of friend that although you hardly speak with, is always ready to help you out no matter what. The word generous is not close to describe this sort of friend.
I deliberate on these two people and I question the saying "show me your friend and I will show you your character". I am not saying it is not true to some extent. I am only saying it is not entirely true. How can anybody judge another based on how stingy or generous the person's friend is?
Some people clearly understand and accept that, one will always have to be a 'fool' in any human relationship. Some are born that way and others learn to be that way. Whatever the case, it is not true that one's character can always determine that of the friend. For all you know, the other person became a friend to the other because of all that he or she might get from the other party.
In the instances above, these two people are both friends of the same person and both can testify that, the generosity of their mutual friend is at heart. While the other gladly takes advantage of the kindness of this friend, the other gladly work on being a true friend, especially, in times of need. If these two people are friends with the same person and are of different personality, how can anybody make the mistake of concluding that any two persons are the same just because they are friends or acquaintances?
The saying that "friends of the same further flock together" therefore becomes questionable. I have seen two people who are friends but believe in different things. After all, friendship, like any other relationship, is based on dialogue and understanding. That is why people of different religious beliefs are able to have the best forms of friendships. Like the Bible say, two cannot walk together unless they are of they agree. It does not necessarily mean they have to do the same things. If we choose not to be friends with such people, how are we going to impact positively on our world?
Personally, I am glad to be friends with such people and the likes. I learn a lot from both. One forever humbles me while the other forever remind me of the command to serve others. It really is an honour to have such people around.
So when next you meet a person with any character defect, do not make the mistake of judging his or her friends to be of same behaviour. After all, when all is said and done, even twins have individual differences.
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